Self-Harm

Work on things step by step

 

If self harming has become a kind of coping strategy, it is not usually helpful to focus on complete abstinence or banning the behaviour in one sudden step. Instead, it is helpful to build new strategies for dealing with difficult feelings which can gradually take the place of self harm. In the first instance it can be useful to consider learning first aid and knowing how to take care of yourself practically if you do self harm.

Creating a personal self harm safety plan is a useful way to remind yourself of things you can do when you feel an urge to self harm. These include ways to manage and reduce self harming behaviours in the short term, so that they are less damaging, as well as alternative ways to manage difficult feelings which can replace self harm in the longer term.

 

De-escalate the intensity of self harm

A first step can be to think about trying to slowly reduce the damage caused by your self harming behaviour (eg cutting less deeply). Then try to move to less damaging practices like writing on your skin with red felt tip instead of cutting.

 

Direct the harming urge at something else

Some people find squeezing an ice cube provides an alternative that is helpful. Hit pillows or cushions. Flick an elastic band on your wrist. Take a cold bath or shower.

 

Make a list of distractions

Make a list of activities that you can use to distract yourself. Trying to be with other people is particularly effective.

 

Know your triggers and reduce the risks

Knowing what kinds of situations are particularly risky for you can help you plan to reduce the risks. For example, it is harder to manage your feelings effectively when you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Go easy on these if you are aware that you are feeling less stable.

 

Learn to tune in to your feelings

In the longer-term you can start to learn how to identify the experiences and feelings which are most likely to trigger your urges to self harm. Learning the skill of ‘mindfulness’ – being tuned in to what you are feeling in the present moment, without judgement or attempt to change it – is invaluable in the move towards being able to manage or ‘ride out’ difficult feelings, rather than trying to eliminate them.

 

Learn how to self soothe

Make a conscious effort to take care of yourself and comfort yourself with difficult feelings. Try out different things to see what you find most comforting. Breathing and relaxation exercises can be very useful. A relaxing soak in a bubble bath, hugs or a massage, eating something sweet (in moderation), stroking a pet, listening to uplifting music, knitting or crafts… Find what works for you!

 

Get support and professional help

Having people you can talk to and a good support network is a vital protection against both self harm and suicidal thinking. See ‘Build support networks’ for how to make a start with this.

Talking about the inner feelings that fuel your self harm is potentially useful whoever you talk to, but counsellors are professionally trained to work with self harm and will be best placed to support you in finding constructive alternatives. See the ‘Counsellors & doctors’ section for more.

 

http://studentsagainstdepression.org/get-support/check-suicide-and-self-harm/coping-with-self-harming-urges/

 

When you are in the immediate danger of harming yourself, try at least five or six of the following ideas.  However, do as many as you need to get past the urgency to self-harm.

• Call a friend or two and talk to them about anything – the weather, politics, the news, old times, new recipes, etc.  Distract yourself, and enjoy the company.

• Watch a movie or two, or three, or however many it takes till you get past the urge to SI. Promise yourself that you will watch movies until you feel safe again.

• Write about your feelings in your journal. Write a poem out about your feelings.

• Scrub the house from top to bottom.  Distracting yourself with tedious tasks, paying close attention to details can give you a different focus for the energy you are feeling.

• Get out the hottest jar of salsa and add jalapeno pepper or red chili peppers, and dig in. It might burn your mouth or make your eyes water and your nose run to eat this, but it won’t scar or cause actual harm.

• Draw or paint on paper what you want to do to yourself.  Draw or paint a second picture showing why you want to do this.  Draw or paint a third picture showing how you wish you were feeling.

• Play with, pet, hold, or hug your pet.  Find comfort and soothe yourself with the company of your dog and cat instead turning to pain or injury.

• Take a walk or exercise.  The physical release of energy is helpful.

• Plant a small garden.  Creating something nice, making something pretty to look at, and tending to something alive can put you into a different frame of mind.

• Take a bath or shower.  Let the water soothe you and help release your stress. Talking out loud or crying in the shower helps get thepainoutthatis locked inside you.  Let the stress rinse off and send it “down the drain” away from you.

• Draw on yourself with a red marker instead of cutting.

• Put a rubber band on your wrist and snap it when you think of hurting yourself.

• Hit a pillow over and over and over till you tire yourself out or the thoughts go away.  Speak or cry while you are doing this, if you can

• Listen to soothing music (or scream to angry music).

• Read your favorite book, or read a new book from your favorite author.

• Watch something really funny on TV – use comedy and laughter as a release.

• Play games online.  Computer games can be monotonous, trancey-hypnotic, time-consuming, and calming.

• Work on web pages or any other big task that requires your attention. 

• Sleep, just have to complete shut down.  Let the time pass, and hopefully when you wake up, the intensity of the emotion will have subsided.

• For those with DID / MPD, go to the safe place you have created inside.  Visualize nice things, comforting things, favorite things.  Allow yourself to be surrounded by good things in life, even if it exists only in your internal world at that moment.

• Snuggle under your favorite blanket in a safe, private, secure place, and allow the feelings to surface.  Cry, shake, feel, breathe.  Let yourself experience and feel your feelings.

• Think of all the people who have ever had good, kind thoughts of you.  Imagine each of them standing with you, holding hands and being with you.  Allow them to offer comfort and support to you, even via your own thoughts.  Write letters of appreciation to them.  

• Play the guitar or piano and play out your feelings through the music. Write a song about your feelings.  Sing out loud with your favorite CD’s.  If you find a song that fits just right, play it over and over and over.

• Close your eyes and visualize yourself on vacation, far away from your stress. If you love the beach, for example, picture yourself walking at your favorite time of the day, barefoot along the shore, feeling the cool breeze across your face, listening to the waves coming and going, watching the sea gulls fly, picking up sea shells. Imagine yourself walking in the warm clear water, swimming with the dolphins, being totally safe.

• Eat a healthy snack (not too sugary), have a cup of herbal tea, or a glass of milk.  Avoid caffeine.  Nibble on saltine crackers.  Challenge yourself to take 50 nibbles or more on each cracker.

 

http://discussingdissociation.com/2008/12/31/25-ways-to-avoid-self-injury-and-prevent-self-harm/